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JEJONES
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Name: JENNI
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Pittsburgh
Birthday: 7/25/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: leading worship at my church, salt and vinigar chips, pickles, grape fruit, church college age Bible study, ice skating, ballet, my job as an admissions counselor, dressing up in pretty dresses, wondering why restaurants are always cold, operations management (yay right), country music, the West, riding ATV's, watching baseball, and hanging with friends.
Expertise: i like to think smiling is my best expertise :)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Business
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  xtremefigsk8ter
Member Since:
2/14/2005
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| Haha Oh Xanga! This was so popular when I was a freshman in college five years ago. It has been five years since then! Some random thoughts:
1. I will have been out of school three years come this May. I will officially be out of college as long as I was in college. Crazy!
2. I had a college relationship that ended almost a year and a half ago. Since then, I have had the time of my life!
3. I am currently dating the most wonderful guy ever who I have known since high school, I went to college with him, and we were matched on eHarmony! Haha! Life is so funny.
4. Still working at Geneva!
5. I start my MBA in March
6. I went to Hawaii this summer. Another thing to check off my life goal list
7. My brother and my little sister's boyfriend are living with me right now. I never thought I would live with a guy until I got married! Haha!
8. I now have the most wonderful network of friends imaginable. I feel like I have officially found my real friends and will have them for the rest of my life
Life is good :) Life is really good. I never thought there could be so many blessings after such a terrible storm. Honestly though, 22 was the best year of my life, although, 23 is showing major promise of being even better! To be quite honest, I think God cares more about my dreams than I ever thought. It just took a little while for me to get to the point where I really appreciate the blessings God gives me. If I had not gone through so much pain I would not fully appreciate all that God has given me now. I am so blessed :)
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| I am finding I only blog in this when bad things happen! Haha sorry for that! At least it has been a really long time.
Life is very overwhelming. My dad got laid off, my uncle is off to his second tour to Iraq, Michael Jackson died and I feel like a worthless Christian. I don't feel like I have done anything of significance for the Lord. It is a really depressing feeling.
It all started hitting my over the last couple weeks, and then when watching Michael Jackson's memorial service I just lost it. He had a very hard life and was raising my a terrible father. That is one thing I still struggle with. We don't chose the families God puts us in, and some families are just terrible. The sad part is, he probably never knew the Lord and became a Christian, so now his destiny is even worse than his real life. I look at it this way: as much as we criticize how crazy he was and how crazy he looked, imagine what was going on inside of him if he changed himself so much on the outside... There are people all over the world like this of course, but it just struck me while watching the funeral service and I just balled. What have I been doing with my life!? Nothing important like soul winning, that is for sure. I feel like that verse in Ezekiel when is says that blood will be on your hands if you do not share the Lords love with those who are lost. I feel like i am looking at the blood on my hands cause I am not doing much for the Lord. All the family members I could have witnessed to over the years and all the encounters I have had with non-Christians. I could have done so much and I was just scared. And now I work at a Christian place of employment, so I really only ever interact with Christians. There is not one to really witness to here. It has made me really miserable. All I have been doing is crying.
It also does not help that my dad got laid off. The Lord has always been faithful though and I know He will provide an even better job. It just hurts to see my dad starting over in a way. He is such an amazing man and it is like he is starting from scratch. He has an interview today. I hope it goes well.
And then my uncle headed off to Iraq. I won't even go in to details here. It makes me really upset. There is is so much I could say and just go on and rant, but I can't. I just hope time goes really quickly and that he remains safe. I love him so much. I feel like he is my sarcastic family member that I can relate to.
It is strange, cause things were so amazing for a little while. I knew that it was to good to be true and that it would all end, and then it all ended at once. One moment you are being kissed by a celebrity and the next moment the world comes crashing down and all you can do is pray that the grief passes. Really, all I have been doing is praying. I pray at my desk, while I run, I think even while I sleep. I have been getting really bad sleeps because I keep slipping in and out of sleep and thought.
I ca't wait for Hawaii. I feel the need to get away and just journal on a beach. I want some alone time. I guess the positive in all of this is that God has put an opportunity before me to be more of a light for Him. I am going to find out more about being a Campus Life leader this week. I have always found the best way to take your mind off of what is going on in your life is to help others, so I am hoping that this is something I can do.
Please pray. I feel very depressed.
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| sometimes, i really wish that i would make life less complicated for myself. sometimes there are just way to many options! i know people say it is better to have many options than none, but the only problem is, i have no idea how all these options are going to turn out :-/ i wish i just had a clear answer. please be praying for me. that the Lord will show me what to do so i don't have to think about it so much. thanks!
life is so wonderful though. travel season has been AMAZING! much better then last year. i have grown so much in the Lord too that it has been an amazing journey. when i read my journal entries from June till now i can see how far the Lord has taken me. It really astounds me!
one thing i have learned is that the Lord seeks a relationship with me like a seek a relationship with a significant other. the Lord just wants me to want Him! He wants me to seek after Him with my whole heart. : ) I want to steal His heart : )
Love you all!
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| Guys, I am doing really well : )
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| So, this is hard. I love him so much and I really want to know what is going to happen. Everything was left kinda open and I really want to know answers. I love him so much and I miss him. I only want the best for him. Even the break up was smooth, which I don't know if he expected that.
I simply nodded, told him I did not want to break up and was feeling good about things, but that I did not have a choice since he wanted to break up and that I would deal with it and be fine. I thanked him for all the lovely times, which he seemed shocked about. I told him he would do great on his interview the next day and then we politely parted ways. I walked home and he followed me part of the way from behind in his car. I can only imagine how hard that was just watching me from behind as I walked teary eyed back to my house.
Why? I prayed before even came into my life that the next man I dated would be my husband. Why? Why is this happening? This was the first boyfriend I ever loved. He was the first guy I ever loved. This hurts so much. I know that Lord is going to be faithful in any case, but it is so hard just taking it one day at a time. I did not feel in my heart this should have ended, but I backed away gracefully and I have not heard from him since.
I just want to know he is OK. I want to know how his job search is going and I want to know if people are taking care of him, because many people are taking care of me. I felt so blindsided and fooled. I had no idea this was coming at all. But like I said, I gracefully stepped down, relinquished my title as girlfriend and walked away. I had to be alone in that moment to think and all he wanted was to drive me home. I just couldn't. Why draw out the pain?
God is on my side and I know that good will come out of this. In fact, I truly believe that this was what the Lord wanted. Even though I did not see it coming at all, I know that this is what the Lord wants for now. When I put the pieces together and even think of the random people who prayed for me the last three weeks I know this is what the Lord wants for now.
He was so apart of my life though. I can't look at a yellow punch bug or mini cooper without wanting to be tickled or kissed lightly. I can't look at a picture without thinking about the good time behind it. I can't watch TV without thinking about how he gave me the TV. I can't do anything without thinking about him is what it comes down to. I can't even eat my Fiber One for breakfast without thinking about him. He used to call it Colon Blow. Hahahaha! He was so funny : ) I just wish I knew why.
We were definitely in different parts of our lives. I unfortunately had to find this out through someone else. The sad thing is though, I was willing to wait. O well. Such is life. I know that this is for my benefit and I know God has a plan and I will look back on this and be like "OOOOOOOO.... that is why that had to happen."
Well, enough for now. Please be praying for me. I feel like I lost my best friend. I did lose my best friend.
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